So Happy It’s Over

Remember how I spent June living my best life? Ha, well July was completely different, I kind of spent July reflecting more than usual, getting prepared to move later this month, and daydreaming about my trip to Miami that’s next week. So basically, I spent the entire time waiting for this month to be over and between my car troubles and the unnecessary heat, I’m happy it’s August.

And even though I’m glad it’s over, there were some good things that came out of July…

  1. Being that I didn’t make any weekend trips in July, I got back on my church schedule (every Wednesday & Sunday).
  2. Grew closer to my dad.
  3. Didn’t spend a lot of money (mainly because I didn’t really have any extra to spend).
  4. Cut off people who I saw as a distraction.
  5. Did daily walks at work and sat in the sun to get out of the office (if it looks like I have a slight tan, that is why).
  6. Pushed myself harder in the gym.
  7. I attended a beautiful wedding
  8. I visited my favorite kids on the planet (even though they got on my last nerves I miss them dearly).
  9. Actually invested time into doing my hair.
  10. Last but not least, went to Orlando with my family.

So, it wasn’t as bad as I thought, but I’m still glad it’s over.


It randomly hit towards the end of the month that I’m really about to be a student again… 

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I haven’t been a student since May 5, 2018 and I haven’t stepped my foot into a classroom since May 1, 2018 (yes, I remember the date). Don’t get me wrong, I’m very excited to start school…I’m studying what I love but I’m a bit scared. I’ve been doing this adult thing for a year and three months, now I have to be a student, again. How am I supposed to do that?

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I know I’m being dramatic but adjusting to sitting in a classroom again is going to be challenging for the first two weeks, but I’ll be fine.

I would say I’ve learned a lot this month, but it’s really nothing I didn’t already know/learned the other months. Each day I’m stronger than the day before, mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially…and as stated in previous blogs some days are tough but I manage through God, friends, and family. 

I did learn two major things though…

  1. It’s never too late to change who you are. If you’re unhappy with yourself, or your choices, you have the power to change that. Just because you’ve been one way all of your life doesn’t mean you can’t change. You can fix your flaws, perfect your passion, and step out of your comfort zone. Do what YOU have to do to grow into the person YOU want to be.
  2. This was my biggest lesson learned… to look on the brighter side of things and to not let little inconveniences ruin your day. Yeah, sure inconveniences are terrible and they make you angry but you have to remember all of the great things in your life and also remember that things could be worse.                                                                      – Literally July was full of major inconveniences for me (my car troubles being the most inconvenient thing ever) but I had to remember all of the wonderful things in my life, all of the blessings God has given me. I had to stop letting that one thing ruin my entire day because why am I giving that one thing so much power? Nothing should hold that much power that it completely ruins your day. Especially if it can be fixed.

Some days will not be as good as others, because of the little things that happen throughout the day, but let’s practice the art of just having overall good days. Let’s not let the little things that happen when we wake up carry over to the afternoon. Speak positive words. Meditate. Pray. Go for a walk. Take a couple of minutes to get yourself together. Do something to help you move past that inconvenience so you can uplift yourself and continue to be that happy person.

Also, Stop saying “Today will be a bad day”, “Today is not my day”, “Nothing is going right”. Because the power of tongue is REAL, so stop speaking bad days into existence. Start saying “Today will be a good day”, “Today will be my day”, “Everything is going right” from now on. Even when something terrible happens, we will speak great things into existence and we will continue to have a good days. IMG_3385

Happy August, let make this month count.

– Briana Morris

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A Nice 4 Day Weekend

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Being black in America…we do not celebrate the 4th of July, however we do celebrate having a day off (or two for some of us this year), being around family (or friends), and an abundance of food, well at least that’s what my family does. One thing about my family is that we KNOW how to come together and have a wonderful time, which is exactly what we did. Being that most of us had a 4 day weekend it was perfect! We decided to spend our 4 day weekend holiday in Kissimmee, Florida.

I technically had a 5 day weekend because my boss let me off Wednesday, but I almost went into work (thank God I didn’t because I had SO much to do Wednesday, including packing because I am such a last minute person). We hit the road Wednesday evening and arrived to Florida Thursday morning, and literally from the time I got there until the time I left I was 10.

Crazily, I was about to pass up this mini vacation to go to Midsummers (a pool party/cookout/event that happens every summer in Charlottesville, VA). After talking to my best friend I decided to cancel Midsummers and take my ass to Florida with my family. Thank God I did that because I had so much fun doing a numerous of things such as… 1. me and my cousins bonded, a lot, 2. we went to Universal Studios, I was sweating so much I felt gross but loved it at the same time, weird yeah I know, 3. We went to this place called Andretti Indoor Karting & Games, a place you can do go-karting, play in a huge arcade, bowling alley inside AND bar lol, (I also will never bowl under the influence ever again because I suck even more). and 4. We also had a pool at our house so I spent some time there as well.

Overall..I ate too much, drank too much, sweat a lot and had crazy fun.

Here are some lessons I learned from being with my family for 4 days straight:

  1. Being in the house with 25 people doesn’t feel like 25 people when we’re all scattered
  2. My support system is wonderful
  3. I don’t really like kids like I thought I did (it was about 6 little girls from ages 6-9 and they drove me insane lol) 
  4. Next time we go I’m definitely flying
  5. My back can’t handle being in the car for 10+ hours twice within 3 months lol
  6. I might drink way too much (who am I kidding, what’s drinking too much kiddos?)
  7. My cousins are the literally funniest people on the planet
  8. Brooke sucks at getting pictures of me when I need her to lmao
  9. I’m a little washed, I need naps during the day or I’ll crash early which I did…twice lmao
  10. I have the best family in the world.

Don’t take your family for granted…everyone is getting older and though we are still young, some aren’t. Love your family. Accept your family. Spend time with your family. They’re the best support system you’ll ever have (especially mine might I add, again). 

So my 4 day weekend in one word? Amazing. One of my favorite weekends of the summer (with Memorial Day weekend being the first, ha)

Ayo, It’s Really July.

02AA780F-5320-4CFE-9E47-53BBA57DAEF7-15543-00000791C7F39B52 Happy July Everyone

 

Sometimes we need a mental break from everything and everyone to get our thoughts together, kind of like a mini refresher. I wish I could say I did that in the month of June, however, if it’s one thing I didn’t do it was that. I spent June (in a way) living my best life. From celebrating family accomplishments to going out with friends in Richmond to traveling to the 757 area & visiting my friends there, I spent June just being Bri. A person who I kind of lost touch for a while and have missed dearly. I’m not saying the person who I was before June wasn’t Bri, but it wasn’t authentically me. No matter how happy I am (which is really happy might I add lol) I’m still really finding me in the process but I think everyone has that problem every now and then. 

The only downside to actually “living my best life” in June was the lack of God in my life. I mean, I continuously pray everyday, talk to God all of the time but I wasn’t doing my devotionals and church wasn’t a priority (and the saying “God knows my heart isn’t acceptable it’s just an excuse to run away from Him, trust me). So I was living my best life but I wasn’t living it through him, no matter how many times I prayed and talked to Him. Which isn’t good at all, but me and God had a long talk and we agreed that I would do so much better. I made a promise to Him.

Also, I didn’t post any blogs in the month of June, and the reasoning behind that is I’ve been having a mean writers/creative block… but was it a true block or was I just distracted? I was distracted lol. I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t really trying to get out of my block and I wasn’t really pouring into my passion like I should’ve to continue my personal growth. I was getting a little too comfortable in this “adult life” that isn’t made for creatives. The whole 9-5 Monday through Friday, off weekends, boring lifestyle? Nope not for creatives, it actually dims our light. BUT we’re supposed to find a way to still be creative in this non-creative environment, I’m still finding my way. And I promised myself that I would dedicated my time into finding that.

Overall, June was a wonderful month though, filled with family, love, new responsibilities, spending time with family, and saving. My goal for July is to not lose touch with God, no matter how busy or distracted I may get, because without him my life wouldn’t be what it is today. Because of God I live the life I want to live. I’ve ask for so much and he’s blessed me with literally everything, and for me to kind of put Him on the back-burner is kind of embarrassing.  It was something my friend Sharai said that stuck to me, she said “How can He bless me with the things I’m asking for if I can’t do what he asks” …that sentence has been on my mind heavily. So, as stated… July’s goal is to continue to live my best life BUT with God.   

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Being that July started on a Monday (start of a new month at the beginning of a new week, whew chile, is that isn’t motivation to start over I don’t know what is)…. I challenge everyone to write down your goals for the month of July. Make a list, it doesn’t have to be a long list either, and dedicated this month to achieving those goals!

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SN: Happy Birthday Darryn! 🙂

To New Beginnings.

Is it just me or has the month of May felt like last year’s January? …long. as. hell. Which I’m not trying to rush the year away but listen, this month was supposed to be over a long time ago.

However, with it being Mental Health Awareness Month I guess it just gave us all enough time to actually work on our mental health. After my blog on Mental Health, I fell into a really bad writer’s block (technically before that blog but who’s really keeping time?).

So, for me, I decided to take this long month and utilize it. And it wasn’t until this past weekend that things started to come together, mentally (and somewhat emotionally) that is. It’s like I finally put pieces to the puzzle God was giving me.

As you all know, over these last couple of months I’ve been struggling with things spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally.

  • Spiritually, I’ve grown so much about giving my problems to God, the effectiveness of speaking things into existence, understanding my passion & how it can help others, and building that relationship with Him. Currently learning how to be on God’s timing and not my own because I have the tendency of wanting to go at my own pace and cut corners.
  • Physically, I’m not where I want to be with my body goals but that one is on me and my not so great eating habits. I’m still an active gym goer but I’m not eating the right foods, which is causing everything to slim down (or buildup) except my stomach lol. (Hi my name is Briana and I’m addicted to bread). But with the help of my trainer, I stay on top of things, somewhat aha.
  • Mentally & emotionally, I was struggling in that department. (which caused my writers block). Still some days I struggle with who I am and what I want but I’m not as clueless as I once was. I’ve learned to love myself. I’ve learned that no man, friend, or family member is worth losing yourself over. I’ve learned that all of my mistakes we’re supposed to happen for this moment right here. So mentally & emotionally, I’m wonderful.

Clarity.

Like I said I had a really bad writer’s block since before my mental health blog. And Memorial Day I was inspired to write.

You ever have an idea that you KNOW isn’t a good idea but go with it anyway? I did that. And it wasn’t a good idea however, it gave me clarity and the inspiration I needed to write again.

It made me realize how happy I’ve been during the month of May (yeah, I have down moments but who doesn’t?). It was a conversation I had with an old friend; they didn’t say anything important that gave me this clarity… it was just being in their presence and having that casual conversation that did it. It made me realize that I was never actually happy and that I allowed other people to take that genuine happiness from me in a sense. The happiness I have fought so hard to get back and now that I have it back, there is no one that can take it away from me.

At this very moment in my life, I’m actually the happiest I’ve ever been. And that my emotional and mental state had to be put to the test for me to be this happy. Yeah, I’m an emotional mess sometimes but that’s because I watch waaaaay too many romance movies & thoroughly enjoy classic r&b music.

Ideally, happiness was the goal for me, it’s still the goal even though I’ve found that happiness. and I found it within myself. A true blessing. A love that no one can break. I’ve found myself. And for the first time in a very long time, I can truly say “I’m happy” without a doubt in my mind.

And with this newfound (well, not really new) happiness, I’ve decided to start from scratch. I’ve decided to start my life over, with God’s help of course. I’m giving myself a clean slate. A slate I should’ve given myself a long time ago… It’s never too late to get control over your life and it’s never too late to start over.

And as we transition into the new month, let us leave all of the hurt, anger, and negativity in May. Let June be filled with amazing new opportunities, networking, community service work, new music, new friends, traveling, love… or whatever you want it to be! Let June be the start of new beginnings.

 

 

SN: Letting go of what needed to let go was the best decision ever. Moving on is never a bad thing, but a blessing. Thank you.

Mental Health Awareness Month.

Happy May everyone,

And since this month is Mental Health Awareness Month let’s discuss ways to keep your mental health under control…well, I’ll share mine in hopes of it helping you!

Self love

People always ask me what I do to maintain my mental health. I’m always told that I’ve come along way from a couple of years ago. It’s because I’m trying to master the art of being attuned with my inner-self. There are things I practice that keeps me grounded and the more I practice them the more I’m at peace.

I’m the type of person, now, where I like to control how I react to things and make sure no one interrupts my happiness. So below I’m going to tell you a couple of things I do to remain “happy” even on my bad days.

PRAYER. As soon as I get up or when I’m doing my hair or even in my car on my way to work in the morning, I make sure I pray and talk to God. Then whenever I feel as though someone is testing me, I talk to him as well. Talking to God literally calms me down, I can’t stress that enough. It’s time where I’m so irritated that I just walk off and talk to him as I walk, then boom, I’m calm again.

READING. When I was younger, I didn’t like reading (which I hate to actually admit that but it’s the truth), however, now, I thoroughly enjoy it. I read the bible, poetry books, fiction & nonfiction. I’m currently reading this book titled “Don’t Worry, It Get Worse” by Alida Nugent. It’s about one twentysomething’s attempts (mostly failed) at adulthood and I’m also reading “Becoming” by Michelle Obama (I know I’m late to the game but oh well lol). But in the past I’ve read The Hate U Give, numerous poetry books (HER, HER vol. 2, Milk & Honey and The Sun & Her Flowers).

WRITING. It’s pretty obvious that I love to write, but there are certain things I write that I would never show anyone or have published because it’s a little too deep, dark or just my personal feelings. But writing helps me A L O T with expressing myself. 

ALONE TIME. Sometimes I literally sit in silence lol. Whether it’s in my car or my bedroom I just need that alone time to recollect my thoughts. Don’t think it’s selfish for wanting to be alone, it’s not selfish. As humans, we NEED that alone time to recharge! And you can do anything during that time, I watch Friends, read blogs, or watch YouTube channels.

Recently, I’ve been reading blogs from The Good Girl Movement. The Good Girl Movement tackles various topics from news, self-love and girl talk! Not only is it a blog, but it’s a business as well founded by Brooklyne Bakeras they do a numerous amount of community service. The Good Girl Movement recently raised money to donate water to Flint, MI. Which I thought was pretty inspiring.

As for YouTube channels I watch two channels, my friend Bajah just started her YouTube channel titled “QueensTY” where her personality is seen from the two videos she’s posted so far! Definitely will keep you entertained. Her latest video is her reaction to Beyonce’s HOMECOMING. I also support Sade’s YouTube channel titled “Sade’ Michelle: Beauty/ Lifestyle/ VLOGS/ Fashion” where she shares her insight on a variety of topics, in her latest video she shares tips on how to start your own YouTube channel! Both channels are awesome, I encourage everyone to check them out! (links will be provided below for both YouTube channels and The Good Girl Movement)

Lastly, I always try to remind myself that I’m doing the best I know how to do. And that I have so much to be thankful for. Even when I’m having bad day I know that it’s not as bad as it could be and soothes my soul a little bit. Even when things aren’t as great I know that there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

Also, following people on social media who post devotionals, motivational quotes and inspiring posts helps me as well. I have my own devotionals I read through my Bible app, but I like to look at the part people post on their Instagram stories!

Remember, it’s Mental Health Awareness Month, so please take care if your mental health.

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Links to anything I’ve mentioned:

The Good Girl Movement:

Website: http://thegoodgirlmovement.com/

Twitter: @thegoodgirlmovement

Instagram: @thegoodgirlmovement


Bajah’s YouTube Channel:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl9UL3FxWuCd0VTbTa5NezA


Sade’s YouTube Channel:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfl1IupUwR1jOQE9acoGCmA

Happy April

I know I’ve been gone for a month without posting,

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but I have great reasoning…

I did a 40 day fasting off social media to focus on my passion (writing) and my good Lord. I hopped off Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat (my favorite might I add) to see if it was the distraction I’ve claimed it was. Between me and you though, truthfully, it wasn’t that big of a distraction as I thought, the real distraction was me (if I had to put it in percentage I would say 70% me and 30% social media). I found that I use social media as an excuse for why I don’t get anything done when in reality it’s just me being lazy.

So, during these 40 days of fasting, praying, reading (I read “Draw Your Circle: 40 Day Prayer Challenge“) and writing I learned a lot about myself. But let me rewind a little bit….

Before the new year, a friend of mine posted about Draw Your Circle: 40 Day Prayer Challenge, and I was intrigued so I decided to look into it. After I looked into it apart of me wanted to read it but the other part said “whatever, I don’t have the time” and kept it moving. Well, obviously, God had other plans for me, maybe not at that very moment but He knew eventually I would buy that book. In early February while working at a job I can’t stand, feeling alone, at an all-time low for multiple reasons, I came across the book again but instead of ignoring the message God was trying to instill in me, I purchased the book from Barnes & Noble. February 20, 2019, was day one for me.

Fast-forward to today. A lot has happened during these 40 days, I went through so many emotions that I was forced to face instead of running away from them. I saw me for who I am really am (the good, the bad, and the ugly), parts of me I’ve never seen before honestly. When you’re giving your entire attention to yourself you notice things you aren’t particularly proud of. That happened to me and caused me to view myself differently. I broke myself down a couple of times then picked myself up later, because of that I know myself more than I did before.

I prayed every day within these 40 days (okay a couple of times I didn’t and those times my days were terrible). And towards the end, I started to see the path God wanted me to take in life and I also learned a lot. I’ve learned…

That sometimes, God says no,

To not stress about what I cannot control,

I’ve learned just because you want something doesn’t mean you necessarily need it,

that mistakes don’t define who you are,

the art of admitting when I’m wrong,

that love is beautiful when done the right way,

I’ve learned that seeking professional help doesn’t make someone weak.

I’ve learned that, even when thinking otherwise, God is with me every step of the way.

I’ve learned self-love

I’ve learned the sky is the limit.

I’ve learned to pour into my passion.

I’ve learned that I’m not identified by my past.

I’ve learned that social media doesn’t determine my growth process.

that there aren’t any answers in the darkness only more problems.

I’ve learned that it’s okay to not know everything that I want as long as I know something.

I’ve learned that skipping a day of prayer altered my mood.

Still working on patience but I’ve learned that it goes a long way.

that happiness is not a person.

that letting someone go is an act of love.

That holding on to secrets can slowly destroy you internally.

That being vulnerable isn’t weak.

That letting someone completely in is absolutely scary but very well worth it.

I’ve learned that it’s okay to cry.

I’ve learned to stop doing for others what they won’t do for me.

To put my fears aside.

To believe in me.

And after all of these lessons, I’m still learning who I am and what exactly I want. These 40 days were the most eye-opening 40 days of my life and I’m thankful for it.


(Special shoutout to Erika Norrell)

**I encourage anyone who is spiritual to check out the book “Draw the Circle: 40 Day Prayer Challenge” by Mark Batterson. Such a great book!!

OH, before I forget… Ya girl got into graduate school. I will be attending Old Dominion University in the Fall getting my Master’s in Creative Writing. So I guess I really did pour into my passion these 40 day’s huh? — side note: I submitted all of my blog posts as my writing sample. Literally started this blog as a college assignment and turned it into something I enjoyed doing. Thank you to everyone who supports me because, without you, I’m not sure I would have continued.

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The Aftermath

HAPPY FEBRUARY EVERYONE. Listen, I know we’re already 12 days in but this is my first post of February.

After reading my last couple of blogs, I realized I never speak about the positives in my life.

I’m not in a bad place in my life, I’m just not in the place I want to be….yet. Which is fine because I know God has me. BUT I wanted to update everyone on how I’m doing after writing “A Little Insight”.

After writing my last blog about happiness I started to view myself differently.

I’ve started to accept myself for who I am (flaws and all), with leaving a lot of room for growth. I’m now in this stage of my life where other’s opinions of me don’t matter as much, I’m trying to get to the point where they don’t matter at all. At this point, it’s either you’re with me or you aren’t…if you aren’t it is okay, because, in the end, God is with me no matter what.

I’m also still growing my relationship with God, so this past couple of weeks have been very interesting for me. The journey I’m on with God has been a very challenging one because of the fact I’m actually taking steps into my faith instead of just saying it. I’ve learned to speak life in every situation, even if it’s negative. I’ve also learned to be patient with my process while preparing myself for something better. As I’ve ALWAYS said, my present is not my future, everything in my life right now is temporary. With the help of God, my Bible plans, my Pastor, family, and friends this concept has become easier to grasp.

I’m still grasping the fact that I am very young and that I have so much that I want to do in life but just because I can’t do it now doesn’t mean it won’t get done.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that things I thought I wanted, I don’t. Not even a little bit. For an example (I’m going to be very open with you), I use to want a relationship. I used to want someone. I used to want to experience a lot of things in life with the one I love the most. And don’t get me wrong, all of that sounds great and I’m not knocking anyone who wants that (because maybe you’re at that point in your life where that’s fine for you), but for me? Nope. I personally have some serious work to do within myself before I could ever think about getting into an actual relationship.

I’m just in this space now where I’m just trying to focus on getting into graduate school, continue with my spiritual journey, and prosper in my writing. Now, of course, I would be lying if I said there wasn’t someone but I’m taking my time and learning more about myself and if God wants him to be the one, then so be it. But until then….IMG_9926

I’ve also learned is that social media is my biggest distraction. Listen, just like the next person, I LOVE social media. Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, shoot even Facebook BUT social media is also a distraction and gives off negative vibes sometimes. I took a real slight social media cleanse before my birthday and it was actually very eye-opening. It’s amazing what can be done when you’re not giving your attention to the wrong things. And when I tell you I got SO MUCH done.

I’m not knocking anyone who gets on social media faithfully, I just know for me personally I’m better when I’m logged off (well, when the app is closed because who really logs off). I found myself comparing my success to others and wondering how come they are doing so well and I’m not. Which caused me to be hard on myself, but, in reality, I’m doing the best I know how to do at this very moment and my time to shine is coming very soon.

In the end, every day is a challenge for me. I have days where I’m so down that I don’t want to do anything then days where I’m the happiest person ever. Shoot, even on my best days, I’m challenged but talking to God and looking on the bright side of situations and thinking “is this really the worse of things?” helps a lot.

Being that I’m still in this weird stage in my life (with trying to discover things about myself and where I want to be in life) I found myself leaning on Him more than ever. Sometimes I do feel a little detached, but I’ve taken steps to reassure myself and just give into the marvelous blessings He’s about to bring in my life

I’m learning to put my self-doubts aside to become the person I want to be, even though there are things I have to handle first, and that my current state isn’t my permanent state. I’m not saying I’m 100% better than I was from “A Little Insight”. But what I am saying is that I’m working on becoming a better me and that alone is enough to keep me pushing.

Question for my readers: Have you taken any steps to become a better you? If yes, then elaborate on the steps, please. If no, then explain what’s getting in the way.