Mental Health Awareness Month.

Happy May everyone,

And since this month is Mental Health Awareness Month let’s discuss ways to keep your mental health under control…well, I’ll share mine in hopes of it helping you!

Self love

People always ask me what I do to maintain my mental health. I’m always told that I’ve come along way from a couple of years ago. It’s because I’m trying to master the art of being attuned with my inner-self. There are things I practice that keeps me grounded and the more I practice them the more I’m at peace.

I’m the type of person, now, where I like to control how I react to things and make sure no one interrupts my happiness. So below I’m going to tell you a couple of things I do to remain “happy” even on my bad days.

PRAYER. As soon as I get up or when I’m doing my hair or even in my car on my way to work in the morning, I make sure I pray and talk to God. Then whenever I feel as though someone is testing me, I talk to him as well. Talking to God literally calms me down, I can’t stress that enough. It’s time where I’m so irritated that I just walk off and talk to him as I walk, then boom, I’m calm again.

READING. When I was younger, I didn’t like reading (which I hate to actually admit that but it’s the truth), however, now, I thoroughly enjoy it. I read the bible, poetry books, fiction & nonfiction. I’m currently reading this book titled “Don’t Worry, It Get Worse” by Alida Nugent. It’s about one twentysomething’s attempts (mostly failed) at adulthood and I’m also reading “Becoming” by Michelle Obama (I know I’m late to the game but oh well lol). But in the past I’ve read The Hate U Give, numerous poetry books (HER, HER vol. 2, Milk & Honey and The Sun & Her Flowers).

WRITING. It’s pretty obvious that I love to write, but there are certain things I write that I would never show anyone or have published because it’s a little too deep, dark or just my personal feelings. But writing helps me A L O T with expressing myself. 

ALONE TIME. Sometimes I literally sit in silence lol. Whether it’s in my car or my bedroom I just need that alone time to recollect my thoughts. Don’t think it’s selfish for wanting to be alone, it’s not selfish. As humans, we NEED that alone time to recharge! And you can do anything during that time, I watch Friends, read blogs, or watch YouTube channels.

Recently, I’ve been reading blogs from The Good Girl Movement. The Good Girl Movement tackles various topics from news, self-love and girl talk! Not only is it a blog, but it’s a business as well founded by Brooklyne Bakeras they do a numerous amount of community service. The Good Girl Movement recently raised money to donate water to Flint, MI. Which I thought was pretty inspiring.

As for YouTube channels I watch two channels, my friend Bajah just started her YouTube channel titled “QueensTY” where her personality is seen from the two videos she’s posted so far! Definitely will keep you entertained. Her latest video is her reaction to Beyonce’s HOMECOMING. I also support Sade’s YouTube channel titled “Sade’ Michelle: Beauty/ Lifestyle/ VLOGS/ Fashion” where she shares her insight on a variety of topics, in her latest video she shares tips on how to start your own YouTube channel! Both channels are awesome, I encourage everyone to check them out! (links will be provided below for both YouTube channels and The Good Girl Movement)

Lastly, I always try to remind myself that I’m doing the best I know how to do. And that I have so much to be thankful for. Even when I’m having bad day I know that it’s not as bad as it could be and soothes my soul a little bit. Even when things aren’t as great I know that there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

Also, following people on social media who post devotionals, motivational quotes and inspiring posts helps me as well. I have my own devotionals I read through my Bible app, but I like to look at the part people post on their Instagram stories!

Remember, it’s Mental Health Awareness Month, so please take care if your mental health.

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Links to anything I’ve mentioned:

The Good Girl Movement:

Website: http://thegoodgirlmovement.com/

Twitter: @thegoodgirlmovement

Instagram: @thegoodgirlmovement


Bajah’s YouTube Channel:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl9UL3FxWuCd0VTbTa5NezA


Sade’s YouTube Channel:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfl1IupUwR1jOQE9acoGCmA

Happy April

I know I’ve been gone for a month without posting,

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but I have great reasoning…

I did a 40 day fasting off social media to focus on my passion (writing) and my good Lord. I hopped off Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat (my favorite might I add) to see if it was the distraction I’ve claimed it was. Between me and you though, truthfully, it wasn’t that big of a distraction as I thought, the real distraction was me (if I had to put it in percentage I would say 70% me and 30% social media). I found that I use social media as an excuse for why I don’t get anything done when in reality it’s just me being lazy.

So, during these 40 days of fasting, praying, reading (I read “Draw Your Circle: 40 Day Prayer Challenge“) and writing I learned a lot about myself. But let me rewind a little bit….

Before the new year, a friend of mine posted about Draw Your Circle: 40 Day Prayer Challenge, and I was intrigued so I decided to look into it. After I looked into it apart of me wanted to read it but the other part said “whatever, I don’t have the time” and kept it moving. Well, obviously, God had other plans for me, maybe not at that very moment but He knew eventually I would buy that book. In early February while working at a job I can’t stand, feeling alone, at an all-time low for multiple reasons, I came across the book again but instead of ignoring the message God was trying to instill in me, I purchased the book from Barnes & Noble. February 20, 2019, was day one for me.

Fast-forward to today. A lot has happened during these 40 days, I went through so many emotions that I was forced to face instead of running away from them. I saw me for who I am really am (the good, the bad, and the ugly), parts of me I’ve never seen before honestly. When you’re giving your entire attention to yourself you notice things you aren’t particularly proud of. That happened to me and caused me to view myself differently. I broke myself down a couple of times then picked myself up later, because of that I know myself more than I did before.

I prayed every day within these 40 days (okay a couple of times I didn’t and those times my days were terrible). And towards the end, I started to see the path God wanted me to take in life and I also learned a lot. I’ve learned…

That sometimes, God says no,

To not stress about what I cannot control,

I’ve learned just because you want something doesn’t mean you necessarily need it,

that mistakes don’t define who you are,

the art of admitting when I’m wrong,

that love is beautiful when done the right way,

I’ve learned that seeking professional help doesn’t make someone weak.

I’ve learned that, even when thinking otherwise, God is with me every step of the way.

I’ve learned self-love

I’ve learned the sky is the limit.

I’ve learned to pour into my passion.

I’ve learned that I’m not identified by my past.

I’ve learned that social media doesn’t determine my growth process.

that there aren’t any answers in the darkness only more problems.

I’ve learned that it’s okay to not know everything that I want as long as I know something.

I’ve learned that skipping a day of prayer altered my mood.

Still working on patience but I’ve learned that it goes a long way.

that happiness is not a person.

that letting someone go is an act of love.

That holding on to secrets can slowly destroy you internally.

That being vulnerable isn’t weak.

That letting someone completely in is absolutely scary but very well worth it.

I’ve learned that it’s okay to cry.

I’ve learned to stop doing for others what they won’t do for me.

To put my fears aside.

To believe in me.

And after all of these lessons, I’m still learning who I am and what exactly I want. These 40 days were the most eye-opening 40 days of my life and I’m thankful for it.


(Special shoutout to Erika Norrell)

**I encourage anyone who is spiritual to check out the book “Draw the Circle: 40 Day Prayer Challenge” by Mark Batterson. Such a great book!!

OH, before I forget… Ya girl got into graduate school. I will be attending Old Dominion University in the Fall getting my Master’s in Creative Writing. So I guess I really did pour into my passion these 40 day’s huh? — side note: I submitted all of my blog posts as my writing sample. Literally started this blog as a college assignment and turned it into something I enjoyed doing. Thank you to everyone who supports me because, without you, I’m not sure I would have continued.

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The Aftermath

HAPPY FEBRUARY EVERYONE. Listen, I know we’re already 12 days in but this is my first post of February.

After reading my last couple of blogs, I realized I never speak about the positives in my life.

I’m not in a bad place in my life, I’m just not in the place I want to be….yet. Which is fine because I know God has me. BUT I wanted to update everyone on how I’m doing after writing “A Little Insight”.

After writing my last blog about happiness I started to view myself differently.

I’ve started to accept myself for who I am (flaws and all), with leaving a lot of room for growth. I’m now in this stage of my life where other’s opinions of me don’t matter as much, I’m trying to get to the point where they don’t matter at all. At this point, it’s either you’re with me or you aren’t…if you aren’t it is okay, because, in the end, God is with me no matter what.

I’m also still growing my relationship with God, so this past couple of weeks have been very interesting for me. The journey I’m on with God has been a very challenging one because of the fact I’m actually taking steps into my faith instead of just saying it. I’ve learned to speak life in every situation, even if it’s negative. I’ve also learned to be patient with my process while preparing myself for something better. As I’ve ALWAYS said, my present is not my future, everything in my life right now is temporary. With the help of God, my Bible plans, my Pastor, family, and friends this concept has become easier to grasp.

I’m still grasping the fact that I am very young and that I have so much that I want to do in life but just because I can’t do it now doesn’t mean it won’t get done.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that things I thought I wanted, I don’t. Not even a little bit. For an example (I’m going to be very open with you), I use to want a relationship. I used to want someone. I used to want to experience a lot of things in life with the one I love the most. And don’t get me wrong, all of that sounds great and I’m not knocking anyone who wants that (because maybe you’re at that point in your life where that’s fine for you), but for me? Nope. I personally have some serious work to do within myself before I could ever think about getting into an actual relationship.

I’m just in this space now where I’m just trying to focus on getting into graduate school, continue with my spiritual journey, and prosper in my writing. Now, of course, I would be lying if I said there wasn’t someone but I’m taking my time and learning more about myself and if God wants him to be the one, then so be it. But until then….IMG_9926

I’ve also learned is that social media is my biggest distraction. Listen, just like the next person, I LOVE social media. Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, shoot even Facebook BUT social media is also a distraction and gives off negative vibes sometimes. I took a real slight social media cleanse before my birthday and it was actually very eye-opening. It’s amazing what can be done when you’re not giving your attention to the wrong things. And when I tell you I got SO MUCH done.

I’m not knocking anyone who gets on social media faithfully, I just know for me personally I’m better when I’m logged off (well, when the app is closed because who really logs off). I found myself comparing my success to others and wondering how come they are doing so well and I’m not. Which caused me to be hard on myself, but, in reality, I’m doing the best I know how to do at this very moment and my time to shine is coming very soon.

In the end, every day is a challenge for me. I have days where I’m so down that I don’t want to do anything then days where I’m the happiest person ever. Shoot, even on my best days, I’m challenged but talking to God and looking on the bright side of situations and thinking “is this really the worse of things?” helps a lot.

Being that I’m still in this weird stage in my life (with trying to discover things about myself and where I want to be in life) I found myself leaning on Him more than ever. Sometimes I do feel a little detached, but I’ve taken steps to reassure myself and just give into the marvelous blessings He’s about to bring in my life

I’m learning to put my self-doubts aside to become the person I want to be, even though there are things I have to handle first, and that my current state isn’t my permanent state. I’m not saying I’m 100% better than I was from “A Little Insight”. But what I am saying is that I’m working on becoming a better me and that alone is enough to keep me pushing.

Question for my readers: Have you taken any steps to become a better you? If yes, then elaborate on the steps, please. If no, then explain what’s getting in the way. 

A Little Insight.

Okay so listen, I wrote a WHOLE different blog about two weeks ago and never posted it because I didn’t think it was real enough (or good enough to post but that’s the self-doubt in me). So shoutout to my very good friend Kiara, because our conversation today made me want to dig deeper.

The blog was about happiness and how can I write about something I’ve never truly, genuinely felt? Don’t get me wrong, I am not an unhappy person, I have happy moments and I’m happy with certain things in my life. But I’m not at a point in my life where I can sit down and just say “wow, I’m genuinely happy with every aspect of my life”. I do have these moments where I’m down because I’m not where I want to be or because I’m extremely stressed out.

And some of that stress involves having to pretend like I have it all together when in actuality I do not. Another part of it may be that I’m so busy trying to make others happy and tiptoeing around their feelings that I can’t focus on myself. Then I’m always making sure everyone is fine or making sure everyone is getting the help they need but I struggle to help myself.

Also, outside of other people, I’m the type of person who waits for the bad things to happen when everything is going extremely well in my life (“the boom” is what I like to call it). And I need to stop that as well because that’s getting in the way of me being truly happy.

So I’ve decided that I need to take some time to myself. And it wasn’t until my friend Geryn posted on her Instagram story that I realized I’m more focused on everyone else than myself. She said “I haven’t felt productive in my personal goals in a long time because I’ve been focused on everybody else and their goals and helping everyone with stuff, that I haven’t been able to help myself and my goals. And I just need to kind of take some time and do for myself for a second and what makes me happy.”

And that’s me because I haven’t been giving my all to my personal goals or to my personal happiness because I’m so busy doing that for others. So from today until the rest of my time on this lovely earth, I’m doing things for me and what makes me happy. I’m also going to try and not expect bad things to step in a ruin the bit of happiness I do have. I’m going to try my hardest to be genuinely happy. It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen.

To all of my readers, are you truly happy? if not are you going to do something about it? and if you are…when was the moment you realized you were?? (comment below)

The goal is happiness. I want everyone to feel it.

 

Starting the Year Off Right

Well for starters, Happy New Year everyone! image1

I hope everyone bought in 2019 with nothing but great vibes and positivity! A new year represents new beginnings and more blessings. But you can’t properly move on into the new year without a little reflection!

So here’s mine…

2018 has been one of the most challenging years for me emotionally. Y’all, I literally went through every emotion you could possibly go through, from very happy to depression (and that’s alright because I bounced back you guys). I had plenty of ups, downs, and challenges.

The Ups:

  1. Well, to start, I turned 23 years old in January, SHOUT OUT TO MY GOD, forever grateful.
  2. I went to California for my birthday and literally had a blast. I almost cried that I had to leave. Side note: that time difference on your body is NO joke, and California drivers are extremely reckless for no reason lol.
  3. I saw dvsn, H.E.R., and Miguel twice.  I saw them all once in Washington, D.C. then again in different cities (minus Miguel, I saw him in D.C. both times).
  4. Built a better relationship with God & I started going to church, taking notes and listening to sermons in my free time (special shout out to Kiara, we go to church together every Sunday, when I’m not working). God and I are like best friends now. We don’t see eye to eye sometimes but I learned to never question Him, so there’s that.
  5. Became serious about my fitness in May.  Memorial day weekend my family and I went to Corolla, N.C…y’all I put on a bathing suit and felt so fat, it was ridiculous. Literally been in the gym four days a week since. (special shout out to my trainer Samaiyah Williams)
  6. Let go of some VERY toxic people.
  7. Grew closer to some people.
  8. Graduated from Radford University with a Bachelors of Business Administration in Marketing

The Downs:

  1. Struggled with depression. Well, sometime around February up until the beginning of April I fell slowly, but surely, fell into depression and I never told anyone this (I just assumed I was in an ongoing funk). Also, I’m not going to go into details. Just know if it wasn’t for my family and friends (honorable mention: Darryn, Jerrontay, and Briana) I wouldn’t have gotten out of it.
  2. Not feeling good enough. Again, not going to go into details but April was a rough month for me. When I started feeling like myself again in August, shit (sorry mom) hit the fan. However, after reflection, forgiveness, space, and a LONG talk with God. I overcame that negative spirit….in October. (better late than never right?).

The Challenges:

  1. I spoke on this in a previous blog but, this adult life = sucks. Finding a job after college was very stressful, then going on a million and one interviews and not getting the jobs draining.
  2. Adjusting to life after college and living in Richmond for the first time since 2014. This was a challenge because I’m so used to being on my own that living back home started a little rough lol.
  3. Building a relationship with God. Listen, this was one of the hardest things I did during 2018. For one, I had to do this in order to get out of my depression and two the world wanted to pull me one way when God wanted to pull me another, in the end, I chose my God. I am not saying this was easy because it definitely wasn’t, but with patience, love and willing to learn…it became easier.

2018 ended up being a very hard year for me, but, as crazy as it sounds, I wouldn’t have changed a thing about it. I’m stronger because of it. Now could I have done without a couple of things, DEFINITELY but hey, that’s okay. I learned a lot, laughed a lot, loved a lot, also cried waaaaay more than I should’ve and that’s okay too.

In the end, I had way more highs than lows. The lows happen to be VERY heavy but the ultimate high was making through another year (so shout out to MY GOD).

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What’s in store for 2019

If I had one word to describe what 2018 has been for me…I would choose the word “humbling”. I honestly felt I was humbled A LOT with every experience from the year. I had to learn the hard way that everything you want isn’t in God’s plan for you, which was a really hard pill to swallow.

A couple of days ago I asked Twitter this questionIMG_9028

It was just a random question because I wanted to share mine, but I actually received a couple of responses

 

I actually asked one person would she mind elaborating on her reasoning and her response was

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Which prompted me to ask friends and family and here are some of their responses

 

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I recognized I wasn’t the only one who had a challenging year, everyone had to get through something this year whether it was good or bad. So in my eyes, this means 2019 will be the year of blessings. Let’s embrace 2019 in with open arms and thank God that we got through another year! Let’s get ready for these blessings that are about to be showered on us. Let us grow.

So what’s in store for the new year? GROWTH: spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally.

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(I would love everyone who reads this to comment one word that describes their 2018 in a nutshell and explain why)