Overcoming Obstacles

obstacles

Let’s be honest, if achieving goals were easy then everyone would be out here in life prospering with no actual work. I feel as though obstacles of important in life because that is how you KNOW you really want to reach that goal. It’s the joy and journey of clearing those obstacles that make life rich and helps people feel truly fulfilled when they finally reach their pinnacle of success.

But, obstacles can also discourage people, which sucks because that is not what obstacles are supposed to do. Some reach that obstacle and give up instantly, don’t do that. Workaround your obstacle and reach that goal you’ve had set for weeks, month or even years.

Even when you feel that everything that could go wrong, goes wrong…do not give up. Keep pushing!

One obstacle I had to overcome was my information technology class during my sophomore year (yes, the class was my obstacle). One of the hardest classes I have ever taken to this date (and I’m a senior in college now), it was an obstacle because I wasn’t that great at programming BUT I ended the class with a great grade. How I overcame that obstacle was that I never gave up, late nights studying, practicing, and focusing on not failing (willing to put the work in).

(Side note: I was an Information Technology major once upon a time, yeah I switched to marketing right after that class; sometimes things aren’t for you and I had to realize that)


Here are four simple steps that might help you!!

  1. Embrace self-awareness: acknowledge your obstacle and do not be in denial. If you continuously ignore the obstacle it won’t go away and you won’t grow. Do not make excuses for it either, or place blame on another person. 

      2.  Use the Time to Your Advantage: You must learn to manage your impatience and be ready when the smoke clears. The harder the obstacle, the more time it will take to overcome. Set a preliminary schedule with clear milestones so you can track forward or backward progress

      3. Commit to Focussed Discipline: True discipline is about making yourself emotionally commit time and effort to your benefit regardless of external factors. I knew I had to make myself accountable for my actions. I cleared out every distraction and vowed to add nothing new to my plate until I made progress. Make the obstacle the No. 1 priority and focus on it every day until it’s gone.

      4. Engage Your Own Creativity: Quit banging your head against the same brick wall over and over. Take time to think things through and find creative solutions that bring fun and progress to the grind of obstacle removal.


Overcoming your obstacles will definitely help you with your personal growth. Once you master this your growth process may be a little easier being that many obstacles can appear.

Just don’t let your obstacles be the reason you give up! Work through them; they are put there to make you a better person in the long run. And plus, nothing feels better than overcoming that menacing part of your life and getting to where you want; especially when you thought you would never get through it!

 

 

 

 

 

Forgiveness

Forgiveness

/ˌfərˈɡivnəs/

the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven
To understand the act of forgiveness you have to understand the word “forgive”
Forgive
/fərˈɡiv/
stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone or yourself) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

 

 

Okay so listen…I’m going to say this because someone has to…forgive yourself, forgive others, forgive those who didn’t even say sorry. Open your heart and be a forgiving person. Not being able to forgive can take a toll on your mental and can cause not only anger but negativity as well.

 

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Yourself: I know we all partake in activities or act in a certain way that we aren’t necessarily proud of. But we have to understand that we are not perfect people and that we make mistakes. It is okay to do something out of our character or make a terrible choice. How else are you suppose to learn if you don’t make mistakes?

Become clear about your morals and values as they are right now, realize that the past is the past, and realize you did the best that you could at the time. Am I saying just act like it never happened? No, not at all. I’m saying acknowledge it and work on moving on. No need to keep being hard on yourself! Once you learn to forgive yourself, it will become natural to forgive other people!

 

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Other people: I think the hardest part about forgiveness is honestly having the courage to forgive another person. Whether that person is your mom, sister, best friend or even a stranger, it is hard to forgive another person. Why? Because most of the time we hold certain people up to a certain standard and once they disappoint us or does something to make us mad we shut down.

I’m letting you know today: forgive anyone who has done you wrong. I know (personally) that it is easier said than done however it is the right thing to do. Holding that grudge against someone is worst than holding a grudge against yourself, it keeps you from excelling personally and cause unnecessary stress.

I’ve struggled with forgiving other people for years. What helped me is:

  1. Acknowledging the way the situation made me feel
  2. Recognizing who is being hurt by not forgiving
  3. Acknowledging the part I might have played in the situation (if any part)
  4. Acknowledging both positive and negative parts of the relationship
  5. Understanding that forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting what they did
  6. Forgiving a person for myself and not for the person

I encourage everyone to practice forgiveness, not for anyone else but for yourself. Not being a forgiving person can really have an impact on your personal growth.

How are you suppose to be a loving and caring person who wants to see growth within yourself if you can’t even forgive someone who hurt your feelings two years ago?

Or how can you practice personal growth if you can’t forgive yourself for a mistake you made five years ago. Let the hurt go and blossom.

But first….forgive yourself.

 

 

BY THE WAY:

Just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you have to continue to treat them the way you once did before they hurt you. You can forgive someone and still not go back to the old day. I’m saying forgive them for the sake of yourself and your heart. 


I interviewed a recent college graduate of Virginia State University, Brooke Morris, who I know has a difficult time forgiving not only herself but individuals as well, so I asked her four questions. Here are the questions below.
1. What does forgiveness mean to you?
2. Do you forgive easily?
3. Do you think forgiveness can affect your growth process?
4. Do you forgive yourself easily?
Here’s her story! (click the link)

Self-Love (Loving Yourself)

Self love

Self-love: regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.

Pure self-love is a genuine feeling of love, appreciation, and recognition for yourself. When I say “genuine”, I mean that no matter what you do, you always love yourself with the same strength and energy. Love yourself with the same strength and energy no matter the errors you’ve made because you WILL make mistakes, but that is life, so don’t be so hard on yourself!

I always look at mistakes as a learning experience.

 Self-love influences who you pick for a mate, the image you project at work/school and how you cope with the problems in your life and is deeper than just delivering the words “I love myself” out loud, it requires belief.
There are two different meanings of truly loving yourself and just stating you love yourself. When you truly love yourself, it shows in your efforts and how you start to conduct yourself. You don’t have to constantly speak the words “I love me” or “I’m in love with myself”.
Because let’s be honest…at that point who are you trying to convince? yourself or others? So with that being said, if you find yourself trying to love yourself for another person…stop while you’re ahead because it doesn’t work like that. Self-love is a feeling within yourself and for yourself
 Personally, it took time to realize that I actually LOVE myself, and once I found that love for myself I saw myself progressing. As I expressed in the introduction, me learning to love myself was because of an individual who most certainly wasn’t good for my well-being. I remember continuously telling myself that I loved myself, but from my actions, it was proven that the “love” I had for myself wasn’t natural, it was more of a “like” than love. I chose to invest in loving myself because during a particular time in my life (about a year or two ago) I didn’t like who I was becoming. I found that it’s essential to your body, mind, and soul. Me being able to say I truly love myself unconditionally is something I brag about (and something everyone should brag about if you really mean it). It has helped me make better decisions, keep good company, and helped me focus on what I WANT and not what others want for me!

These 7 steps below helped me with my growth process into loving myself unconditionally, and I hope these will help on your journey to self-love!
1. Become mindful. Generally, people have more self-love tend to know what they think, feel and want. They are mindful of who they are and act on this knowledge, rather than on what others want for them. Translation: Live for yourself and not others, make mistakes and learn from them! Be mindful of yourself and how you feel! Don’t let anyone dictate what you’re supposed to feel!
2. Act on what you need rather than what you want. I think you love yourself more when you have the ability to turn temptation down (things that only make you feel good and are exciting). And instead excepting things that help you move forward in life AND, things that make you feel strong and centered!
3. Practice good self-care. Take better care of YOUR needs. Nourish YOURSELF. If it’s getting active, writing in a journal, proper sleep, healthy social interactions, exercise…just invest in YOURSELF and your care!
4. Set boundaries. Please please PLEASE, understand your limits and when to say no. This is the biggest part about loving yourself (in my opinion). Stay away from activities that deplete or harm you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually!!
 5. Protect yourself. Get rid of negativity! Protect your heart and soul! This is important because you can’t truly love yourself if you continuously allow negative souls infiltrate your life.
 6. Forgive yourself. Don’t be TOO hard on yourself, we ALL make mistakes! Learn to forgive yourself and look at them as lessons. Accept your humanness, you are not perfect, nobody is perfect!
 7. Live intentionally. Live with purpose and design. living intentionally is all about why you do what you do and why don’t 

If you find these steps helpful and want to know more about how I overcame not being able to truly love myself hit the contact tab and shoot me a message! I will gladly give you more ideas and steps from my personal experience!

Self-Reflection (Knowing Yourself)

To me, the first steps to personal growth are self-reflection and self-love. I’ve always said that if you don’t know yourself or love yourself how can you truly grow into the person you’re longing to become? So this post is dedicated to self-reflection, or what I like to call it, knowing yourself.

I define self-reflection as knowing yourself because, during the process of reflecting you learn things you never knew about yourself, you find information that surprises you or even information that disappoints you. When your self-reflecting is finished you come out knowing more about yourself than ever and you work to correct the attributes that you particularly do not admire.

This part of personal growth is essential to the entire process because if you don’t acknowledge what area, or areas, that need to be fixed then how are you suppose to grow in any form? And that’s when you start reflecting, and you continue to reflect until YOU feel like you’ve found enough about yourself to help you excel.

There are multiple reasons as to why people start this process of their lives, from losing themselves and wanting to find out who they are again or never knowing themselves and wanting to find out who they are period. And there is nothing wrong with either one of these reasons.

The best way to start your self-reflection is to spend time with yourself. In order to really know who you are, you have to learn how to enjoy your own company! It is okay to schedule in some time for yourself in order for you to discover what you like, love, or even what you don’t like or love. Learn to take care of yourself!

During your reflection, you will find out certain things (as mentioned before) that you either like or don’t like. If you come across a trait of yours that you don’t like, write it down! That way you know that is something that needs fixing. Do not give up because of the flaws in your personality because nobody is perfect! Let your flaws be your motivation in this step of personal growth and let it be your motivation throughout your entire journey!

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I had the pleasure of speaking with an alumnus of Radford University, Bruce Baker, and his experience with self-reflection, he stated that his self-reflection started with his family and college.

Here’s the full story!

“When it comes to personal growth, I never really understood it, at first.  grew up in a household where everyone around me was stagnant, mentally, with what was going on around them. So unintentionally, I thought this was how life worked. It wasn’t until I got to college that I realized that didn’t apply. No one in my immediate family wanted growth for themselves, they just wanted growth for others. Which is fine, but in order to fully support growth in someone else, you must first fully support growth within yourself. I’m not talking down to my family because they are all smart people. It’s just we have a tendency to put everyone else in the spotlight and forget the main person. Yourself. 

College taught me brutally if you don’t grow up on all levels you’ll fall behind, quick. I didn’t want to fail out, nor did I want to disappoint my family. So, I rose to the occasion and I graduated with my degree, first in my family. I say this because this was the biggest step I’ve taken towards growth. With everything I was faced with, all the uncomfortable moments, I grew smarter, wiser. From not knowing how I was going to pay food some nights, no means of transportation to a college 3.5 hours away from home. It was rough, no doubt. I look back on that now and see the difference between the person I was then, to the person I am now, and I pat myself on the back. I deserve it. 
Now I want to share the knowledge and experience with my family, friends and those who are willing to listen. By the grace of God, I’m still standing and walking. I’m healthy mentally, physically, and spiritually. I know it’s all because I took time to not let life decide what it was going to do to me, instead, the opposite. Which is, to me, where growth begins”